Girly Girl?!?

There have been times that I wished I was a "girly girl."  Those times have been rare and far between but they existed.

I am one of five sisters and I come from a family with much more women than men yet the "girly girl" vibe was never very prevalent in my household.  I think the first "girly girl" I remember is my cousin who just turned thirty this year and got engaged and after her, my cousin whose little girl is now number one "girly girl."  That's it. Those are the two I can think of.  Before my lovely ladies go into a tail spin, I am not saying that we are not ladylike or that we don't have girlish qualities, what I am referring to is "girly girl." I know my articulation skills are lacking in this instance but it's not something clearly definable  with words, it's more like a vibe, like a feeling, like the Humming in Sade's songs.  If you aren't sure if you are a "girly girl" or not stop reading, go to mirror and look at yourself in the eyes, look, look intently and deeply, if you have to think about for more than a moment you are not a "girly girl."

My mother she's a strong, nurturing, focused mother and wife. My grandmother was basically the same, strong, nurturing, focused mother, grandmother and wife.  There wasn't any time or desire (I think, there may have been some desire but not so much, not any that they ever cared to engage or explore) to stop and be "girly."  They don't seek pampering or weekly trips to the salon.  Still to this day if I try to give either of them a shoulder massage they just say, "no!" They do not look to be pampered or be dainty in any way.  I like that about them.  I like that about me, that's why I'm ok with just being Jewels, the Jewels that I am.

Although I am not a "girly girl," I am a fierce and often graceful woman.  I am passionate and nurturing. I am loving, creative and kind, I just don't need to get a manicure or pedicure every week anymore.  From the time I was 19 to the time I was about uh, let's see 24 perhaps, I would get a mani/pedi every two weeks. My nails were wrapped in acrylic and they were each about 1 inch long.  I would get airbrush on my nails, there were times I had my nails pierced, it was madness I tell you.  I spent way too much time and money on that and at this junction I don't regret it. For a moment I thought about it and wished I'd been more prudent with my time and my cash, I should have put away those 35 dollars every two weeks and spent those four or five hours studying as opposed to getting on a bus and sitting in a nail salon for pretty little nails.  The moments spent with Karina, Kristin, Unique and Liz are priceless moments full of fun memories but in reality I don't remember them all. It's more of a feeling and when I see pictures I laugh.  Yet and still, not a "girly girl."

The hair salon is another place that I never wanted to go to. I use to dye my hair at one point in my life and you know how the OMBRE look is all the rage, I was rocking the OMBRE back in 1993.  Just that I didn't pay for it, it just worked out that once my roots grew out long enough without a touch up, viola OMBRE look.  I guess I can consider myself a trendsetter.

Now, I am a mom and my child is a boy, I thank the Lord every day that I have a man child.  I don't know if I could have been able to be the mom of a girl. I mean what if she was a "girly girl?" What in heaven would I do? Well I will tell you what I would do because my world is now graced by the presence of three, count them, THREE of the prettiest, fun, outgoing, precocious, headstrong, loving, fashionable, ladies who occasionally invite me to revel in the glory of the "girly girl" world.  I didn't birth these ladies but I consider them my daughters, heck a mani & pedi trip once a week ain't looking so bad these days, don't see it happening any time soon but it's not something I abhor these days because, Today I honor my inner-child, my inner "girly girl."

How can you acknowledge and honor your inner "girly girl?"

How can you embrace her and let her shine?

Namaste.

Sharing is caring.

Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

Helping Friends In Far Rockaway

Happy Saturday Friends!

Feliz Sabado Amigos!

I am asking for your help from now until the end of December...

I am collecting NEW WARM HATS and SOCKS for the folks in 

Far Rockaway, for babies all the way through adulthood, men and women.

If you have

a connection at places of business that sell these and can make a donation please let me know who to call or where to go and I will go.

The people of Far Rockaway thank you in advance 

and I thank you with all my heart!

and we can set up a pick up or drop off.

Thank you so much!

 Les pido ayuda desde hoy hasta el fin de Diciembre...

Estoy colectando Goras y Medias NUEVAS para 

la gente que viven en Far Rockaway y han perdido todo.

Si tienen contacto con alguien en una tienda que venden estas cosas 

por favor déjenme saber a quien llamo o adonde voy para una donación.

La gente de Far Rockaway les agradecen 

y yo les agradezco de todo corazón!

Mandeme un mensaje a mi correo electronico 

jewelsmax1@gmail.com y arreglaremos el sitio de entrega.

Muchisimas Gracias!

Namaste.

Sharing is caring.

Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

NYCab

My dad is a Proud NYC Taxi driver, he has been ever since before I was born, I believe, so that would be about 40 years or so.

My dad doesn't have any 401K Plan or any professional service "end of year bonus."  At 70 Plus, he drives his car, he politely and expeditiously takes his passengers to wherever they need to go.

Recently my dad began working with someone who is very special to us.  This new driver has been sharing how many compliments he gets for his car. 

"This car smells, nice."
"Wow, what a clean car! I'm so pleasantly surprised."
"Thanks for keeping your car so nice."
(I'm paraphrasing...)

My dad takes pride in his work.  His cab has been our livelihood for decades.
When he was assaulted and left for dead in the streets of NYC he was home for months, recuperating and wasn't fully recuperated before having to go back out there to work.  While recuperating at home there was no money coming into the household. The bills didn't stop, the bank didn't pardon neither the car mortgage or the home mortgage or the everyday costs of life.  It's never been easy but it's what he knows.  It's what he loves.

Through the years I have heard many misrepresentations and complaints about taxi drivers. People are always talking about the high costs of fares.  People focus on the drivers who are not as courteous or as professional as the job merits, no my dad. When you think of professional car service you are thinking of folks like my father.  I have written a few letters to both the TLC, taxi and limousine commission and the media to give some light to my father's story and to paint the true picture of a hard working, committed, professional with a lifetime of experience.

This hurricane Sandy that just took place and has devastated New Yorkers and New Jersey residents has put a deep wedge in the gasoline availability and has been the catalyst to some panic and pandemonium. I have been praying for the safety of all my neighbors and for peace and strength.  My father has had such difficulty getting gas this past week.  He was even on a line for over 15 hours to be told there was no gas and they didn't know when the delivery was coming.  The cab was not for hire as it didn't have any gas to move anywhere. My hands were tied, I really had no ability to help in any way shape or form.  A high school school mate, whom I had reconnected with on a social networking site, even offered to go get some gas for my dad out in Connecticut.  It's been pretty challenging.

One thing I am grateful for today is the following message I just read on the internet:

NYC Gas Ration Rules: 

Vehicles with license plates ending in an even number or the number "0" 

can make purchases of motor fuel on even numbered days.

Vehicles with license plates ending in an odd number can make 

purchases of motor fuel on odd numbered days.

Vehicles with licenses plates ending in a letter or other character can make 

purchases on odd numbered days.  Commercial vehicles, emergency vehicles, 

buses and paratransit vehicles, Medical Doctor (MD) plates and 

vehicles licensed by the Taxi and Limousine Commission are exempt.

Alleluia!


Namaste.

Sharing is caring.

Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

It takes a village

While sitting at my dining room table about to bite into my scrumptious chicken lasange I heard very passionate dialogue taking place at my kitchen table.  I took a few bites of my delicious meal and listened intently for a moment. Now I don't tend to eavesdrop often, okay, that's not completely true, if your conversation is within earshot from me and/or I'm interested in the topic or the players of the discussion then I will most probably take a listen.

Truth be told the conversation was riveting for me on so many levels.  Dialogue, sisterhood (brotherhood too ;) community, discussions, passion, education, parenthood, and love are some things that inspire and motivate me greatly.  I daresay they are integral values and part of the foundation that makes up the person I am.

I put my plate aside momentarily and made my way over to the kitchen table.  I politely interjected, "Hi. Sorry to barge into this discussion but I've been quietly listening from over there *coy-fully smiling and pointing to my empty seat at the dinner table* and I have a perspective I'd like to share."  The two lovely ladies smiled and graciously acquiesced.  One of the ladies immediately asked me if I believed in homeschooling. I can't remember her exact question but I had to interrupt her as my response wasn't that simple (is it ever?!?).



The debate:  Homeschooling vs. Public or Private School Education.

Both ladies were so passionate about their stance and so respectful of one another that I was not clear on which one stood where, which one believed what.  I shared my experience, perspective and part of my opinion.

I was certain I didn't want to be a mother until I was about 33 or 34 (I was  late in that regard only by two years, my son was born when I was 36).  I have a three and a half year old son who will be starting daycare this week.  For many years I told myself I would homeschool.  I thought it was the appropriate thing for me although I had never met anyone who homeschooled and don't really remember how I became exposed to it.  From the age of 17 to about the age of 30 I told myself I would be a Home Schooling Mom. 

For me, there was a problem, a "disconnect."  The "disconnect" has only recently become apparent to me.  I realized I NEVER consciously wanted to be a stay at home mom. I wanted to be a career mom. I wanted to have the best of all worlds, this is what I told myself.  Maybe because both my mom and grandmother were stay at home moms I organically, without thought or effort found it to be the way to go. I don't know for sure, I couldn't really say.  What I can tell you is that these aren't conversations I ever had with anyone but myself.  See, that is reason number one that I was so thrilled to hear this conversation taking place between two twenty-something year old career women.   The fact that they were talking about it just says they are truly thinking about it. This is something very important to consider if you know you want to be a parent.  Having the discussion with a variety of folk brings you different perspectives and helps to clarify your authentic needs and desires.  And once you become a parent a lot of what you originally thought remains that, just a thought.

Now thanks to the "Magic" of all the social networks available to me, I have been able to connect with a couple of ladies from my past who have homeschooled their children and have done an amazing job of it.  When my son was a few months old I spoke to one of the ladies and mentioned I thought about homeschooling.  I told her I wasn't going to be able to do it for numerous reasons and she actually broke down many possibilities and for a brief moment I was back to thinking I may just homeschool.  Homeschooling has so many benefits for all the parties involved and it leaves some stuff to be desired and perhaps in my next life I will be prepared to be an extremely effective home schooling mom.

Ultimately the choice is that of the parents. Ultimately there is no right or wrong there is only what exists.  The ladies both seemed to be quite open to dialogue and hearing other peoples' experiences and perspectives.  All in all the only reality for me is, "It takes a village." Homeschool, Schooling outside the home in a private school, in a public school, we need to be clear that now matter what each parent decides, It always takes a village. Oh and that chicken lasagne, oh boy, it really hit the spot!




Namaste.

Sharing is caring.

Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

The Road Continues...

Namaste.

Sharing is caring.

Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

I am Fine. Everything is Fine.

After leaving my precious one at daycare and talking to his dad and my best friend for moral support I took a ride to CVS to pick up a couple of the things on his supply list. (Do you a believe it, a supply list in daycare;)

I picked up my Ghirardelli chocolate, the wipes, and an Iron Man Repulsor. While I was waiting in line to pay I saw a toddler in a shopping cart with his mom. He was such a little cutie, he had no socks on. I asked the mom if he was her only and she said she had another boy at school. She asked if I had any and I told her I just dropped my little boy off at school and that's why I look like this. (All teary-eyed and red nosed) She sympathized with me. She was so kind. So generous with her words and spirit. She shared how sad she felt when took her first little boy to school and thanked God she had her littlest one with her now.

We talked for a bit, walked out of the store together. 
She kind of shared the sentiment like my friend had emailed "Letting go is very hard even when they are big, so don't think it gets easier. Keep in touch."


We shared some short stories about being a mother.  Her kindness and conversation helped me ease through the moment. I gave her my card as I always love to connect with folks, especially when we can relate to one another.  

I Thank you, my loves for the wonderful support and thoughtful sentiments you've been sharing with me. 

I am not alone. 
I am fine.
Everything is fine.

Namaste.

Sharing is caring.

Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

Next Steps...

I did it. I dropped him off and I can't stop crying.
Don't get me wrong. I KNOW he is fine. I KNOW this is the process. I KNOW everything is as it should be and still I have a longing and melancholy happening...

We both went to drop him off. We even stayed with him for a while in the play yard.
The kids were coming over and asking if he wanted to play with them.

His father left.

He said, "Mom, you can't leave too. You have to stay with me."

I said, "Honey, I'm only staying for a little while but I have to go soon. Remember, Grown Ups Come Back."

He said, "No, no mom, you don't grown ups don't come back."

My response, "Remember this weekend when you went early in the morning with Thee Thee Karina and you went to Evan's Basketball game, you went to the mall, you talked to Aaron, Remember how much fun you had and then in the evening I came back to get you. You live in my heart, you know that, I am always coming back!"

He just shook his head, looked up at me and said, "Mommy, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE, PLEASE don't go. I don't want to stay here without you, pretty pleeeeeease with sugar on top, mommy..."

Then his teacher walked out into the play yard and asked me to come inside with her. I told him I'd be right back he was not happy about that and he stood by the door the entire time waiting for me to come back.

While he was sitting with his dad in the play area there were several kids coming to ask him to play and he politely said no.  Mason and Geovanni and I forget the names of the rest of the children.  I came back and the teacher said, "Max your mommy is leaving in two minutes." I started to get very anxious and had to coach my own self to take deep breathes.  

"Max honey, I have to go."

"No, mommy."

"It's okay Max. You are fine and I will pick you up later. Whatever you need you can ask the teacher. She will help you."

Quietness.

"Give me kiss, Mommy loves you. I love you very much!"

I hugged him, he dismissively kissed me and the teacher took his hand.

I stepped away with tears in my eyes and a small smile on my face as all the children came over to meet the "new boy, Max."

By the time I left the area there were 16 kids running around.  Three adults and one of them was the teacher who was making the introductions.

I walked to my car with a heavy heart. I know he will flourish in this environment, I know and he is my little baby. I've been fortunate enough to never have had the need to leave him with a stranger.

I called my best friend, she has two boys, one 17 and the other 8. She totally got what I was feeling and talked me off the ledge. Okay, so I wasn't on a ledge but I was feeling so so sad. 

I left my baby. 
I felt guilty. 
I felt excitement. 
But most of all I felt fear. 
The fear, the trepidation of the unknown for him and for me.  

** I dropped him off an hour and a half ago and I just called the school to check up on him.

"Hi, this is Maximillian's mom, I'm just calling to check up on him, see how he is doing (SOB.Sob.Sob)"

"HI! He's perfect! He's totally fine. WE just finished some art and now I'm about to give them so work to do. He is totally fine."

"Okay, thanks so much. See you later."

So you see Max is fine, having fun and I'm sitting at my laptop crying like a baby. 
It's like I'm not there to help him if he falls but we all know from Growing Pains...Love that I don't have to physically be there if he falls. I am with him all the time and he is with me in my heart.

I think my sadness comes from thinking that I'm the only person who knows how to keep him safe. We live in a world that is so full of so much that you just never know what's going to happen. You just never know.  I don't know and this little precious spirit, my little boy, he just means so much to me that I feel the need to protect him. I feel the need to be there for him always.  

I just pray that I am doing the right job as a parent. I pray that my coaching, my guidance and my love will help him to be a strong, confident, empathetic, loving, kind, intelligent, resilient, courageous, creative, healthy and fun individual. A man who is full of integrity, joy, peace and harmony. A strong beautiful human being.

I'm off to find a Painter's Smock for Mr. Max for the new adventures he will create.
I need to take deep breathes, wash my face and be ready for that enormous tight hug I will get in a few hours.



Namaste.

Sharing is caring.

Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs