The Expected and The Unexpected

Yesterday morning my sister called me to tell me our cousin had passed away.  The night before we had all been at the hospital and when I saw him I feared the worst. Well, not the worst, I feared his passing. The first weekend in July I had gone to see him and I thought he would be out soon. I thought they would run some tests, find out what was wrong and then give him the remedy to fix it.  That was twenty days ago.  Today my cousin is no longer with us in the physical world. My cousin is with all of us in spirit. He lives in our hearts.  

Today I get a call from my mother to share with me that my other cousin was killed last night.

Today, my heart can't take it.
None of it makes sense.

Truth be told I only spent time with these two guys when we were celebrating an event. In recent years we only saw each other to share in good times.  Both of these men were family men. My cousin Julio was my cousin Karlla's right hand, he was an uncle, a brother, a nephew, a cousin, a friend.  Karlla and Julio, they did everything together, always. My cousin Carlos is a father, a husband, a son, a cousin, an uncle, a friend.

My heart aches for the people in their lives, my family, who will not be graced with their presence in the day to day.

My cousin has to bury his son. I don't think there is greater sadness than having to bury your child.

My articulation skills are impaired today but I felt the need to share their passing.

Both Carlos and Julio were always the life of the occasion. They always had a smile to share, a hug to give, a good word impart.  They were always fun. There was never an occasion that I saw either of them where I didn't laugh so hard that I cackled. They were jokesters. They brought so much joy to everyone who they encountered.  Always young and spirited at heart.  They also both always told it like they perceived it. They were true to the core.

Both of you will be missed so much, by so many.

Thank you for all the joy and laughter you brought to this world with your light spirits.

Your spirits will forever shine in this world.

In love and light.
Julie Jewels

Wrong Doing

I did something wrong today.  
It wasn't a physical act, it was a verbal one.
Words can pierce deeply; more than WHAT I say it's HOW I say it.

Today, I reacted badly and immediately wished I would have taken a deep breathe or three before reacting.

I am sorry.  I apologized already and I acknowledge it was completely inappropriate and even abusive and I am clear that Love is not abuse!   

I hurt someone I love and in turn I've hurt myself and the beautiful relationship we have had.  It was a thoughtless and irresponsible reaction due to that moment, the environment and a few other factors yet it was wrong.  
I acknowledge my wrong doing.

This isn't the first time I forget about My Favorite of the Four Agreements and it might not be the last.  What happened in this situation will NEVER happen again, this I KNOW for SURE!

The person I hurt is someone I truly LOVE, I don't only Love them, I like them. Thankfully the relationship has a strong, healthy and deep foundation. I pray for the Grace of God, they can truly forgive me as I am truly sorry.


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Namaste!

It's so easy, anyone can do it!

In many places in NY there are visible, yet subliminal signs.

Signs that creep into your psyche.

I have seen and read so many signs over the years.
This sign here is one that disturbs my center.
No, not the military recruitment, although I have lots to say about that, this post is about SIMPLE DIVORCE.  If your divorce is uncontested you can pay a low rate of $399, that's it, that's all $399 American Dollars. You can get it done in two shakes of a lambs tail. It's really that easy.

If the wedded bliss is over just go get a quickie divorce.  I'm not making a judgement on folks who get divorced. Truth be told I took advantage of this Easy Peasy deal at one point in my life.  Divorce wasn't the answer for us, we went the Annulment route. Once you have your marriage annulled, it's as if it NEVER EVER happened. It's that simple, right?

Sometimes it's the healthiest option and sometimes it's the only option.  They say hindsight is 20/20 and I must tell you I still am not sure I would not have married my ex had I known things would have worked out the way they did.  I don't have the answers as to why it happened or why it didn't last but I do know now it was part of my journey and I am who I am today in part, because of it.

I was the first of all of my siblings to ever get divorced.  My eldest sister is over 50 years old and is still happily married to her tween years crush.  Most of the couples in my inner circle have been together their entire lives.  When it was Annulment time for me, I felt like a failure.  I feared the loss of the relationship would cast a shadow on the person I was. I felt inadequate. I was full of fear and even some self loathing.  Thankfully, I started the healing process immediately.

I'm comforted in having the awareness that I didn't grow up in a space where Divorce was that simple.  Folks I encountered were committed and that was all.  It was happening outside of my space and I was familiar with it and as I got older I learned more and more about it.  My situation was less complicated than many, we didn't have children. Our annulment was simple because we apparently never consummated the marriage.  I became a statistic in terms of Easy Endings.

As of late, I have been seeing the EASY DIVORCE signs in the five boroughs but mostly in locations heavily frequented by a majority of people of color.  Let's not perpetuate it. It shouldn't be that simple.  Love is love and with love comes responsibility.  Don't get married thinking it's easy to end the marriage. Think long and hard and have the difficult conversations that comes with moving forward with a partner.

So many folks have battled for the right to be married and here are folks who have this right readily available just squandering it and not respecting the sanctity of marriage.  If you aren't certain don't do it.

A few weeks ago after my morning meditation I was struck with the following thought:

There's never a reason to betray someone. There is no justification for it. If you did it, explore why you did and leave the person you betrayed alone. Apologizing by explaining the acts of being deceitful is neither integrous, nor kind, it's just a way too hook someone into your guilt. It doesn't make the other person feel good, it takes the complete burden off of you and now the victim of this disrespect is feeling hurt. No winners anywhere. Think about your actions, and thoughts even, before engaging in them. Follow the four agreements and the Sufi Gates...it's not about right and wrong, it's about LOVE! It is always about LOVE!



This applies to the circumstances of many divorces, not all but many. Many of us sometimes do before thinking.  There is no thought of the consequences of our actions and many times people get hurt.  If you are married respect the boundaries created by you and your partner. Ignore those subliminal messages about how easy it is to end it and focus on the beauty of creating and building harmonious and long lasting relationships.  If you have a chance to post an ad somewhere be HUMANLY RESPONSIBLE, think LOVE!

I am Julie Jewels and I approve this message.

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Thank you for reading and sharing.

Namaste!

Jewel? JeWeLs...

My given name is Julie. Just Julie, it's not short for Juliette or for Juliana. It's just Julie.
Many friends call me Jewels.
I like the nickname. It suits me well.

I don't, however; ever introduce myself as Jewels or Jewel, for that matter.  You won't hear me say, "Hello, I'm Jewels."

My best friend of over 30 years has always called me Jewels, she even calls me Juliana, as well as, Dude.

Last week my four year old called me DUDE. I replied, "Honey, you can call me Mom, Mommy, Mother, Madre, Mami or Julie but never Dude." It didn't occur to me to say Jewels, it never does.

My blogs are titled Jewels Organically and Jewels, The Brainstorm. In several of my social networking
platforms I use the name Jewels. I've used the name Jewels in email addresses for the past two decades.
I am a fan of Jewels but when folks introduce me as Jewels I usually am looking around for her. Because of my email addresses and my labels in certain sites many folks call me Jewels. I must say when I get correspondence addressed to Jules, I wonder if they realize Jules is the male form.  I just shake my head and  sometimes snicker.

Slowly Jewels is becoming my true moniker.

My mom, my dad, my grandparents and my life partner, they are just a few of the folks who have never called me Jewels and I find it unlikely they ever will.

What's in a name?

What is your nickname? Who gave it to you? Do you like it?

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Namaste!

The Loss of Innocence

Imagination...

Innocence...

Creativity...

When do we loose it? Where does it go?

The following conversation took place on one of my social 

 networking platforms in response to the  photograph of my 

little SUPER IRON CAPTAIN MAN, herewith.

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Party #1: The ultimate Avenger!

My Response: Happy face emoticon.

Party #2:   Except superman wasn't an avenger or in marvel comics...still cute though...you can't tell kids no when they want to wear something.

My Response:  I love this mash up, it's the best. The imagination is an amazing gift to have...Funny thing is many adults were like, what the...confused...blah, blah, blah and blah blah blah...it made me laugh cause adults can be so limited and immature in their thinking. More of the folks enjoyed his little mash up and asked to take pictures. It was a fun day. 

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This past weekend we attended the first ever Long Island Pop Culture Expo, Eternal Con. It was awesome. I had a great time. My kids had an even more awesome time. My 11 year old marveled (see what I did there) at the coolness and oddity of it all.

It was, personally, my first Cosplay experience.  My niece attends these types of expos on a regular basis and has taught me what they are about and has explained what could be expected.  I understand the premise and have seen photos of folks dressed up in full Superhero gear or Comic Personality gear or in some sort of anime attire.  It's pretty intense and lots of fun.  

I have a four year old son who is enamored by the world of Superheroes and engaged completely in his imagination.  Every day he will put on a costume or another.  One moment he is dressed up as Iron Man, the next moment he will grab a Knight's shield and be Iron Knight.  I've seen him cut up and tape together an outfit from construction paper alone. He loves getting into character and enjoying the moment.

Halloween isn't the only time it's okay for my son to dress up in costume, he dresses up as often as can,as often as he thinks of it and we celebrate and support his creativity.  

It was funny to me when I heard folks talk about the confused costume he wore. It was awesome to see others smile and enjoy the moment.  Seriously, when it comes down to it, isn't that the most important thing besides love, to ENJOY THE MOMENT. Be present and don't judge.  The comment where party #2 explains where each character originates is educational but really it isn't pertinent to the fun a four year old, his 11 year old sister and his cool mom are having.

We had a great time and next year I might just dress up too.  I am thinking I will maybe be, "Super-Cat-Wonder-Pageant-Winner-Woman, Super Iron Captain Man's Mom."

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Thank you for reading and sharing.

Namaste!

Look It's Tito Puente!?!?!

For my 25th birthday celebration I had a small group of about 135 folks come join me at the CopaCabana on 57th Street. My dear friend, MioSoty was scheduled to perform along with Jerry Rivera and I am not sure who else. We had a huge guest list, sadly many folks didn't get in because with or without a guest list you were not going in if you were not at least 21 years old (That was one of the things I LOVED about the Copa, they had, not only a strict age requirement, they had a strict dress code as well). The entire experience was a riot.


I had friends from work, friends from college, friends from high school even. It was pretty cool. Everyone was scattered all around having a wonderful time.  They had the latin dance floor, which housed the main stage for performances and the upscale VIP section and also they had the variety room where they played reggea, hip hop, freestyle and everything else. It was a memorable party.

I had a small group sitting in the VIP section which included my mom, dad, and my Grandfather, to name a few. 

Yep, EVEN my grandfather came out to party with me on my 25th birthday.  This guy has been one of my greatest emotional cheerleaders. My whole life.  He's a rockstar himself.  One thing that always stands out when I remember that awesome celebration at the Copa was everyone wanting to know why I was in the VIP and why I was dancing with and spending so much time with Tito Puente. I can see where folks thought that but it just made me laugh. Still to this day when I think of it I look like the Chesire Cat.

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Thank you for reading and sharing.

Namaste!

Can you see me?

I am of the school of thought that everyone just wants to be seen, heard, and loved.  This isn't an absolute truth but goodness it really could be.  I can't speak for everyone but I can speak for me and the reality is many times I just want to be seen, I want to be heard, I want to be acknowledged.  (It may show up as just wanting attention but it's a little bit more than that).

I do my best to always acknowledge others, it's so rewarding for me when I can SEE you, when I can HEAR you, and most definitely when I can LOVE you!  I'm so utterly grateful for the times I have exchanged being seen and being heard.

During the final Oprah Winfrey Show she shared her thoughts on this:
Oprah Talks about Validation I agree with her wholeheartedly. I even get a bit emotional when I see this particular clip.

What are your thoughts?
How about sharing?

I shared a very personal experience yesterday on my blog and it has begun an entire new layer of growth and healing. I've noticed the more personal and the challenging the greater the audience. Why is that?

I see you.
I respect you.
I send you love and light.

Namaste.