Amor Eterno!

They called him DON Fausto. 

He was truly the Don.

Thank you for all the years of love and light.

My favorite dance partner. 

Abuelito, te quiero mucho.

My one and only favorite Met Fan.

Son, Husband, Brother, Uncle, Cousin, Father, Friend,

GRANDFather...

Love you, Always, your Granddaughter...

Mi Viejito, descansa en paz <3 Te Amo y no lo puedo creer!

Going Home

At this moment it all seems so surreal to me.

Intellectually I know it was happening, it's always happening. We are all, always on our
way "home." Everyday brings us closer.  The juxtaposition of it all is perplexing and comforting.
I always remember one day in like 2004 or 2005 when mom called me while I was at work to 
tell me my grandfather had had a heart attack, it was the first time I ever had the realization that
they won't be in my physical life forever; they being my grandparents. It struck me quite deeply.
I experienced their mortality, it was a true awakening and a blessing cause it made me really
and truly be present with them when I was able to share moments with them.

We all have our own experiences with folks and we recollect them with our own perspectives.  
Me, I'm a firm believer that my loved ones live in this world with me, everyday, in spirit. Even 
though this is a real thought, a conscious awareness, I still am feeling a deep sadness for  
this transition my grandpa is experiencing. It truly is a huge loss and for it to be a huge loss it 
has to have been an enormous gain, at least that's my opinion.

The life my Abuelito had was wonderful, full of laughter, fun and tons of love.  
Yesterday was one month that we lost one of my dear, dear aunts to cancer. It feels like so 
many folks who are dear to me are transitioning. Last year was full of transitions and this year 
started with three, right off the cuff. I'm reminding myself every moment to pause, breathe, and 
be in gratitude for every experience and every moment....I forget sometimes...

My grandfather has been a very strong presence in my life. I am having a difficult time with
letting him go. I know he's going no matter what and the sorrow runs deep. The amazing part
is how my heart, although it's filled with great melancholy and a heapload of woe, my heart is
smiling because I truly relished in our time together. I pray for your comfort, abuelito. I pray for
peace and serenity in your heart. Always know how greatly loved you have always been. Thank
you for the light you brought into the world. I love you, always.

The Truth Is...

There are so many thoughts and emotions enveloping my mind.  When I think and talk about Love and Loss I think about the ebb and flow of it. Loving and losing someone is a challenge for me.
I am going through all the stages of grief and thankfully I have a few tools and an amazing support network.

My grandfather dying...
i am finding it difficult to articulate with words what's transpiring within.
The grief cycle comes to mind and i am fluctuating in it. In and out. Out and in. 
This is the very first time in my life that I travel to Florida and it's not for a vacation or to just spend quality time with my old folks. 

My grandparents moved to Florida from New York about a decade ago. I've traveled to visit with them about 25 times and one of those years I didn't make it once. When my grandparents decided to move to Florida my heart broke into a million and one pieces, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't eat, I really and truly didn't know what I would do. My grandparents have been my sustenance for most of my life.  I have almost always lived with them. I didn't know any different.  It was hard. I remember having a conversation with my ex mother in law where she told me that this happens to many families and they just loose touch little by little, not because they want to or fall out of love but because life and distance intervenes. I couldn't and wouldn't accept that as a fact. I refused to. There was no way in heaven I would allow "LIFE" to get in the way of "LOVE."


My relationship with my grandparents is a priority to me.  Siting here now and grieving the death of my grandfather I'm overcome with the reality that I've been more prudent in expressing and sharing my love with my grandparents than with my parents.  I admittedly take my parents for granted. Don't be confused I appreciate, love, respect and express my gratitude to my parents and to the Lord for their love and for everything they represent, do for and with me and my son but I take it for granted that they will forever be present and love me unconditionally and sometimes I don't even think to call them.  I don't visit with my folks as often as I would like. Other things take precedence over spending quality time with them; my grandparents on the other hand get my undivided attention and time.  I call my grandmom every day and make it a priority to visit with them as often as possible. I write them letters, I send them photos and recently we've been using social media streams to have video chats. (Ain't No Sunshine When They're Gone!)

I wrote this tiny tribute to my grandfather:
Viejo Mi Querido Viejo.
The title is in Spanish but the essay is in English. 
While writing I was reminding of several special moments we shared and several not so special moments, just everyday things that happened.  
I truly consider myself blessed for having been able to share and celebrate this life with my Abuelito and my Abuelita. I was able to enjoy him and our relationship for 40 plus years, I know how fortunate I am for this.

In reality the pain I am feeling at this very moment starts from within my core, the pain is for my grandmom's loss. I held her hand tonight as we sat on the couch watching a movie together and I could feel her deep, deep sadness.  We both sat quietly watching an action film with tears streaming down our face. I can't begin to imagine the pain she's feeling and the truth is I don't know that I would have the strength she has to stand up so fiercely and face a day without her soul mate, her life partner, her very best friend. How do you continue with a loss that's just so monumental?

I don't have any answers, all I can do is focus on the wonderful magic I experienced through their love. I can stand and gratitude and acknowledge my great fortune, cause I am Fausto & Julia Mieles's GRAND Daughter. The truth, the truth is that alone is an enormous blessing and shall carry through. 

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Namastè.
In possibility,
Julie Jewels

12.12.13 DRAFT

I was scheduled to chaperone a school trip today, I was so excited to enjoy a Ballet with my 4 year old and his class. On Tuesday I received a call from the school to say there was a mix up with the tickets and no parents would be chaperoning, just school staff and I would be getting reimbursed for the ticket. They said they were very sorry, I said thank you and hung up.

This morning I dropped him off at school and had forgotten to pack his lunch. Usually when we go on trips we leave together and I take him home to eat or we pick something up on the way. I forgot to pack a lunch cause for some reason I thought I would still be going on the trip. When his teacher apologized for the ticket confusion it hit me, "His first solo school trip!" I thought, wow, I won't be there to enjoy the experience with him, to watch him smiling and frolicking with his peers. And no pictures...

My son lives in my heart, we are part of one another and that notion, that knowledge, that, it makes my soul dance.

He had a wonderful time on the trip. He told me a little bit about (HE SHARED!!!HE SHARED!!!)it and I now have a not so little boy.

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Namastè.
In possibility,
Julie Jewels

Patience and Gratitude

I am participating in the Deepak and Oprah MEDITATION CHALLENGE.  I am not on schedule with the meditation postings, I'm on my own schedule...today's MEDITATION was highlighting gratitude. I'm so grateful for the NOW in my life. My life, right NOW is amazing. I am currently waiting at the airport for a flight back home. I am with my four year old and we've been here since 2:05 pm, it is currently 7:43 pm. I am so proud of his patience, I'm grateful for his focus. We will be getting on flight 302 which leaves here  at 7:55. We've been bypassed thrice already. This flight looks promising. We didn't get home till the evening time and the whole while waiting, my little one was a true pleasure. I'm grateful for the gifts of patience, awareness, love and compassion.

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Thank you for reading and sharing.

Namaste!

In Possibility,

Julie Jewels

(8.2013)

Light Is Not Lost On Me Dejavu

Organic Jewels was were my last Brainstorm should have been published.

Light is Not Lost on Me <-----Here is the post.

I guess it started as a brainstorm, so everything is right in the world. :)
Namaste!

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Thank you for reading and sharing.

Namaste!

In Possibility,

Julie Jewels

Nothing. I did nothing.

Every time I pick up my son from school I ask, "Did you have a good day? How was school today? What did you do? Did you learn something new and  fun?"  (It seems like a barrage of questions, I know, but it's purely conversational.)

I think I might be asking the wrong questions as his response is usually always, "Nothing. I didn't do a thing."
I say, "So you didn't play or draw or even have snacks. Okay." He says, "Well, I did have a snack and took a nap." In my head I'm thinking, we don't pay for you to nap and snack and then I think, wait, my middle schooler did the same, minus the napping. Come to think of it my 16 year old niece does the same and she has shared how she wishes she could nap. So I wonder if it's just a general consensus for students to not care to share or even just remember all of the activities they participate in while they are in school. Of course I felt like this was exclusive to just us and then this past week I attended a school meeting where the teacher would be explaining the "Common Core Standards" for our pre-schoolers.

Once the teacher explained the standards, the goals at the school and had a little "Core Standards" Q&A, she opened the floor to general questions.  To my surprise other parents were sharing the concern that their children say they do nothing or all they do is play all day.  Now, if my son was playing all day with the other children I would be fine, as he is 4 and a half in a household where the person closest in age to him is his 23 year old sister.  Play with children his age is exactly what I am interested in for him.  Peer interaction and socialization is pertinent to the healthy development of all human beings, I feel. For the past couple of years we've been home together. I take him out to explore the world and we go on diverse adventures most days it was just us.  The transition to all day school has been a bit challenging for both of us.  We miss each other and last month he would cry when he was at school cause he missed being home with mom.  Pre-school came at the right time for us.

Yesterday when I picked him up from school I asked, "How was your day?" He responded, "It was great!"
I asked, "So would you like to share your rose and thorn?" He said, "School all day was my rose." My response was, "That is awesome, what fun stuff did you do?"  Now, here I think we are making progress, I'm so excited I can't even contain my smile, which he really can't see cause I am driving and he is in the back seat..."Nothing, I didn't really do a thing, mom."

I quickly turn my head to look at his face, he is smiling from ear to ear and there is a twinkle in his eye.  If doing nothing makes him this joyful, he should continue to do nothing every day!

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Thank you for reading and sharing.

Namaste!