Walking with Bentley

Bentley has been a member of this family for five months and a week.  
He is a tiny Yorkie Poodle.  We adopted him from a friend who really didn't have a choice but to find another home for him.

I'm grateful for this little creature in my life.  I don't always admit it. I don't always smile when he is barking his little lungs off.  He barks like a rottweiler.  If you hear him before you see him you will be scared.
So we went for a walk tonight, as per the norm  and usually he runs and runs and runs tonight it seemed like even though it was freezing cold he was taking the time to smell the flowers.  While Bentley was smelling the flowers I was able to enjoy tonight's evening sky. 

Have you gone outside and marveled at the mesmerizing sky?  The dark sky is punctuated with hues of light, not only the amazing stars twinkling but the moon is being reflected by the airy clouds.  It's very cold out tonight but the phenomenal sky makes the coldness almost bearable.  Last night it was foggy and rainy. I drove into Brooklyn, as I got off the BQE and made the left turn under the overpass I saw a homeless person.  I caught the view in the rear view mirror, it made me sad. I took a picture.  What made me smile was that walking towards my car from the opposite corner was a man and his dog.  The weather was frightful but the two skipped on by as if it was sunny and warm.  I didn't forget the homeless person all wrapped up and sleeping on the ground, I said a prayer for them.  I also smiled inside from the joy I saw in the faces of the man and his dog.  

I hope to have a long life with Mr. Bentley as he is a part of my family now. I appreciate his energy and also appreciate when he stops to smell the flowers!

Do you have a pet?
What's your pet's name?
What is it?

Namaste.

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Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

Namaste...

EE Cummings - i carry your heart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                    i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant 
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

The above poem by ee cummings is very beautiful and means the world to me.

I have many thoughts circling my mind. I have many emotions enveloping my heart.

I was introduced to this poem by a friend because it's an expression I 

often share.  I consider myself unique, just like everyone else in the world. 

I've been in circles with such a huge variety of folks. I've been part of so many 

communities. I thank the Lord and the universe for this.  

Often I meet folks and think I've known them forever. Often I meet someone, share presence and they stay imprinted in my heart. I don't have to know you my entire life or be in your world day 

in and day out to love you and to feel an impact.

My younger days in Queens: Woodside, Flushing & Corona, these are days of old that gave me the chance to meet a wide circle of amazing human beings.  

I remember you.

Namaste!

(I apologize for the crypticness of this post, I'm feeling a bits of ways, it's about loss, it's about 

transformation, growth, evolution and change.)

Namaste.

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Respectfully & Sincerely yours,


JeWeLs

A Dear Max Letter

December 26, 2012
12.26.12

Dear Maximillian,
Thank you for choosing me to be your mother.
You are such a gift.

I saw your heart beat for the very first time 2008, I will never find the words to properly articulate my excitement, joy and all around emotion.

You have been my greatest present and your presence in my life has helped me to grow and be a better woman.

I'm writing this letter to you today because we are about to enter into a new year.  2012 is coming to an end which means like every end there will be a new beginning.  We just celebrated your fourth Christmas and they just seem to be getting better and better each and every year.  I didn't think that was possible.

I want you to know I love you with all my heart and soul and I take this opportunity to help coach, love, protect and enjoy you, very seriously.

Your father and I are very clear on the impact you have had on our lives.  We thank the Lord every opportunity we get.

I pray you will always be safe and grow into a wonderfully smart, kind, compassionate, strong, giving, loving, fun, creative, intelligent, enlightened, self aware, down to earth and just all around awesome man.  I pray that the Lord gives me the honor of dancing with you at your wedding one day and that I can hold your first born child in my arms.  I remember the very first time I saw your little face and I really just couldn't believe that I could hold you in my arms.

I am sure I've mentioned this in some of the letters I've written to you and I will most likely share the story one day when are older and we are conversing about life experiences.  You and I were in an accident when you were in my belly, it was a hit and run. I thought we were going to die, I thought I was never going to get to meet you on this Earth and I would have to explain to you in the after life how it was that I failed to protect you.  The little "Scion" we were driving lost control and I had to let go of the steering wheel. I cried, prayed to God to help us and apologized to you for not taking care of you the way I should have.  It's right up at the top of the list of worst things that I have experienced.  It was most definitely the scariest.  I resigned myself to the Lord and once I let go and let God we were saved.  The "Scion" was totaled but I was fine and you were fine,   Everything was fine.  Sometimes I think your reaction to loud noises stems directly from that unfortunate accident. What I always think is that God has a greater purpose for us.

We have a calling in this life and although I'm still figuring mine out to the letter, I will be by your side always to support you, to cheer you on, to help you up when you fall, to help you live your very best life.  I believe in you more than I have ever been able to believe in anyone, at times even myself.

When you were in my belly I would sing Frankie Valli's "Can't take my eyes off of you," to you and the first time I heard you sing that song it brought a huge smile to my heart.  You really are amazing and "I love to hold you so much, I thank God you are alive! I love you, Baby!"

Maxi, the night when we were trying to get the piece of glass out of my foot and you said, "Momma, I'm here for you and you can hold me so that it doesn't hurt." You truly took away the pain because all I could focus on was how amazingly compassionate you are so early in life.  You are, like your grandfather says, "The biggest thing to hit the country!"  :)

Please know you can always count on your momma.  I will forever be there because I live in your heart.  Know you are part of my SOUL.

Whenever I am not around just close your eyes, take a deep breathe and trust I live inside of you because we are part of each other to no end.  If I do nothing else in this lifetime I will have lived a full life because I am your mom!

love, mom

Namaste.

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Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

Feliz Navidad? :)

Emotions all around me, Feelings that confound me.
I can't not find the reason to laugh and not cry this season...

Merry Christmas.

These past few days I've been overcome with great nostalgia.  I am nostalgic, just reminiscing about the days of old.  Truth be told, everyone in my home is fast asleep and I am sitting here listening to "Burrito Sabanero," crying (yes, Farrah, I know what you are thinking). I miss my family, I miss our Christmas Parrandas. Okay, we never had Parrandas the way Caribean folks have Parrandas, we had Farra's.  A Farra is an Ecuadorian full fledged jam.  You know the one, the one that starts at 7:00 PM but doesn't end until the sun rises and you finish having some, "hair of the dog," for breakfast. 

I was blessed to grow up in a two family home in Queens, New York.  I lived with both of my parents, my younger sister and brother ('till I was 17 and my youngest brother was born) on the second floor for several years. On the first floor lived my maternal grandparents, two aunts and two uncles. As time passed several of my extended family members would come and go.  One day when I was a teenager my aunt, uncle and cousins were joking around and they said Grandma's house was like the Statue of Liberty, "Give me your tired your poor Your huddled masses yearning to breath free The wretched refuse of your teeming shore Send these the homeless tempest tost to..."   It was a joke but not too far from the truth.  My grandmother hosted everyone in our home, she would always say, "Donde come uno comen dies!" That translates to, "Where one eats ten can eat as well!"  It was fun, scary sometimes, annoying often but all together pretty spectacular.  My maternal family is from Ecuador and my Paternal family is from Puerto Rico, any time of the year we had folks from either country staying with us, in the attic or in the basement, it was pretty interesting. 

The Holiday season was always a feast to remember.  Invitations never went out and phone calls were not made, La Casa de Julia (My Abuelita) was just the spot.  Extended family and all dear friends would come calling, everyone was welcome and everyone had fun.  I spent 30 years celebrating Christmas with Grandma aka Abuelita and 21 of them were in that house.  Christmas Eve was little New Years but there was nothing little about it.  We would dress in our very best and a feast would be prepared, the music would be blaring and folks would dance and the television would have some latin dance party being aired. It was a riot. We would exchange gifts at midnight and pop cheap bottles of champagne (you know like MUMS or something, "Meet the Fockers" reference).  I dare say the NYPD came to ask us to turn down the music, once or twice but then ending up having a drink with grandpa and all was forgiven. 

It was the best of times.

Christmas Eve this year was a little different than the times I described.  This year I had a lovely dinner at home with my eclectic, beautiful, loving, and amazing blended family. 106.7 was on the radio (as per the norm, if it's not 106.7 it's 100.3, 93.9, or 97.9), the chicken was slow roasting from 11:00 AM, I made a salad (I have truly cornered the market on salad making), some sweet potatoes, sauteed eggplant and a tiny piece of honey ham.  Dessert was a slither of red velvet cake with some vanilla ice cream and some coffee.  We drank some wine and some Krug Champagne.  We talked about how the chicken was purchased at the live poultry shop and seasoned three days prior. We talked about the lack of Mental Health initiatives, attention, resources, policies, awareness, and knowledge.  We discussed fears, joys, cultures, customs, dreams, love, life.  Our conversations ran the gamut.  It was lovely. ("Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.")  At midnight I was serving coffee.  Once we finished desert we moved to the living room opened a few gifts, took some photos near the tree, enjoyed the joy of the two little ones opening gifts and that was the end of that.

Christmas Day was also full of love and harmony.   Me, my eclectic, beautiful, loving, and amazing blended family.  This year we were fortunate to have a new member of the family join us for our Christmas tradition of giving out all the gifts and opening them together, taking family pictures by the tree and just enjoying each others company.  Brunch, yum. Relaxation, games. Dinner. (all the while I am taking pictures of it all!)

There was no dancing, no cheap champagne, just laughter, and love.

I miss my extended family and our old customs.  Also, I am so very blessed and excited about the new traditions I've become a part of and even more thrilled about the new rituals I've created for my little one.

Feliz Navidad!

What are your holiday customs? 

Do you do anything extra special during the holiday season?

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2012

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Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

Soul

For me the Soul is an energy that exists within and without.

It is a constant flow of love and light and when it's met with love and light it recognizes itself.

Every single human being is a Soul and Every Soul is Divine.

What is your definition of Soul? 

Check out what some of my favorite teachers have to say about the soul: Oprah OWN: What is the Soul?

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2012

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Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

Hero

I was excited to get a bag full of trimmings for gift wrapping from the attic and as I turned and began walking away, I stepped on a piece of glass. 

OUCH!

The glass cut my left foot and has been hurting me since it happened.  I've been limping and it's neither cute, nor fun.  It is quite cumbersome.  
I had plans tonight. 
It's been frustrating to not be able to go celebrate a special lady's birthday.  

Max's dad tried to get the glass out of my foot and he really couldn't see it, I tried all day.  My friend suggested the following: 

...soak it to soften skin & hope it comes out then if it doesn't ice it to numb & start digging. 

Step 1 the old trick to remove glass from your foot is take a half bucket of warm water  &

2 cups of sugar soak your foot for 1/2 hr the sugar neutralizes the salt in the glass  &

 moves it to the surface.

Step2 Firstly, wash the wound in cold water; doing this will reduce the bleeding while also 

getting 

rid of any extra small shards of glass that might be present in the foot.

Once you are done with this, place the foot on a solid surface that is well lit; 

this should give you a good visual of the glass piece.

Swab the area with a cotton ball dipped in alcohol.

You will need a needle and tweezers. 

Disinfect them by soaking them in a bowl of alcohol for 5 to 10 minutes.

Use the tweezers to remove the shard of glass from the foot. 

If it is a tiny piece, use the needle and slide it back and forth to release the glass, 

till you can grab it with a pair of tweezers.

Once you have removed the shard of glass, clean the area of the foot again 

with swabs dipped in alcohol.

Apply an antiseptic cream to soothe wound, and bandage the area to avoid infection.

I tried the above remedy but it didn't work for me. While Max's dad was attempting to help I was being very adamant about him not hurting me.  It hurt a whole lot. Max came to my side and told his dad not to hurt me. He then made my soul dance and made me so proud.  He said, "Momma, I'm here for you, so that papa doesn't hurt you. I will hug you and it won't hurt!"

The boy stood right there with me the entire time and gave me the greatest hugs ever.  His dad didn't get the glass out but tiny shards of glass hurting my feet pale in comparison to the love and joy in my heart to experience my little one's compassion.

His thoughtful kindness.

I truly am blessed.

Thank you, Max for truly being a gift, you are my hero!

Merry Christmas Eve, Eve. 

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Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs

Pride, Money, Thoughtfulness & Gratitude

I've been unemployed for a while and have no real source of income.  My consulting and volunteering doesn't produce any finances, the pay is purely the internal satisfaction of sharing and giving back to my community.  I am grateful to the people who I love and have in my life, for all the support they give me.  I value all the financial help from key folks.   Not to mention, my volunteering takes me away from my son and he is being graciously taken care of. He is safe and sound, having a blast and it's not costing me anything, it's truly a blessing.

This being said, it is still an enormous challenge for me to have to ask for and accept financial assistance. It's truly quite agitating so having to do it is not something I enjoy in the least.   It might just be my ego but that doesn't change the feeling. Just last night I made a request for gas money, I was given the cash to fill up my car with gas and then today when I opened up my mail I received a very thoughtful greeting card with a check addressed to me with enough for three visits to the pump.

I am humbled and forever indebted to all the amazingly divine spirits who live in my heart, and thankfully walk this amazing Earth.

Thank you!

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Respectfully & Sincerely yours,

JeWeLs