Thursday, December 27, 2012

A Dear Max Letter

December 26, 2012

Dear Maximillian,
Thank you for choosing me to be your mother.
You are such a gift.

I saw your heart beat for the very first time 2008, I will never find the words to properly articulate my excitement, joy and all around emotion.

You have been my greatest present and your presence in my life has helped me to grow and be a better woman.

I'm writing this letter to you today because we are about to enter into a new year.  2012 is coming to an end which means like every end there will be a new beginning.  We just celebrated your fourth Christmas and they just seem to be getting better and better each and every year.  I didn't think that was possible.

I want you to know I love you with all my heart and soul and I take this opportunity to help coach, love, protect and enjoy you, very seriously.

Your father and I are very clear on the impact you have had on our lives.  We thank the Lord every opportunity we get.

I pray you will always be safe and grow into a wonderfully smart, kind, compassionate, strong, giving, loving, fun, creative, intelligent, enlightened, self aware, down to earth and just all around awesome man.  I pray that the Lord gives me the honor of dancing with you at your wedding one day and that I can hold your first born child in my arms.  I remember the very first time I saw your little face and I really just couldn't believe that I could hold you in my arms.

I am sure I've mentioned this in some of the letters I've written to you and I will most likely share the story one day when are older and we are conversing about life experiences.  You and I were in an accident when you were in my belly, it was a hit and run. I thought we were going to die, I thought I was never going to get to meet you on this Earth and I would have to explain to you in the after life how it was that I failed to protect you.  The little "Scion" we were driving lost control and I had to let go of the steering wheel. I cried, prayed to God to help us and apologized to you for not taking care of you the way I should have.  It's right up at the top of the list of worst things that I have experienced.  It was most definitely the scariest.  I resigned myself to the Lord and once I let go and let God we were saved.  The "Scion" was totaled but I was fine and you were fine,   Everything was fine.  Sometimes I think your reaction to loud noises stems directly from that unfortunate accident. What I always think is that God has a greater purpose for us.

We have a calling in this life and although I'm still figuring mine out to the letter, I will be by your side always to support you, to cheer you on, to help you up when you fall, to help you live your very best life.  I believe in you more than I have ever been able to believe in anyone, at times even myself.

When you were in my belly I would sing Frankie Valli's "Can't take my eyes off of you," to you and the first time I heard you sing that song it brought a huge smile to my heart.  You really are amazing and "I love to hold you so much, I thank God you are alive! I love you, Baby!"

Maxi, the night when we were trying to get the piece of glass out of my foot and you said, "Momma, I'm here for you and you can hold me so that it doesn't hurt." You truly took away the pain because all I could focus on was how amazingly compassionate you are so early in life.  You are, like your grandfather says, "The biggest thing to hit the country!"  :)

Please know you can always count on your momma.  I will forever be there because I live in your heart.  Know you are part of my SOUL.

Whenever I am not around just close your eyes, take a deep breathe and trust I live inside of you because we are part of each other to no end.  If I do nothing else in this lifetime I will have lived a full life because I am your mom!

love, mom


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Respectfully & Sincerely yours,


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