Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Growing Pains...LOVE

My three year old fell this past weekend. 
He cut open his chin and needed 30 stitches.

I was not there when he fell.

The phone rang, I answered it and the information I received seemed quite surreal. Yes, Surreal is the right word. I can't speak for all mothers but I would daresay the majority of us never want to hear the words, "Fall, Cut, Hospital, Stitches, Bleeding: YOUR CHILD," strung together in the same sentence.

I didn't really know what to do but I did realize that panic and tears would not get me to hold and comfort my son.

When I got to the hospital I found my son and he was yelling that he wanted to go home.  He was holding a yellow towel to his chin and it had some, not much blood on it, I figured it was a small cut.  On the phone, His dad said he needed two or three stitches...

Once our son was registered we were admitted and moved into center stage, the only issue was that my son's cries were the only performance.  There was some stage hands prancing around but no stage manager to be found. I was holding him and he was crying. 

Someone asked us to sit at the first bed we could walk to, so we did.  Our son was still crying in pain. He drank a bit of water and then sobbed himself to sleep.

The attending doctor approached us but I really wasn't paying attention.

"Are you an intern?"

"No, I'm the attending physician. Should I call a plastic surgeon?"

I investigated the cut, it was deep, very deep. It made me cringe.

Did I mention, I wasn't there when it happened. I should have been there, that was my thought then I decided to pray.

I prayed to thank God for my son's well being. I prayed to thank the Lord for a minor cut that just needed 30 stitches. I prayed to the universe in gratitude for our strength and our love.

The movie on the flat screen up on the wall perpendicular to our bed was showing "Armageddon." The beds began filling up slowly, grown ups in wheel chairs, a child with a fractured arm, and we were just waiting for Dr. Plastic Surgeon. 

The doctor arrived shortly after the call to check on his eta. He was very professional and quite succinct in his requirements.

"You can't hold him, he has to lie flat."

"Yes, I will stitch him up right here."

"His head needs to be on this side, you hold his head and I need you to hold down his shoulders and his arms."

Our little boy woke up again and was crying, "No, momma! NO!!!"
"Please momma, NO!"

It broke my heart but I had to focus and be strong.

I sang to him, 

I have been singing him this song since he was in my belly.  It didn't calm him, but I pray it soothed him even if just a tiny bit. I was attempting to lessen the trauma, I hope it worked.

Dr. Plastic Surgeon took out a huge needle and shot the novacane right into the hole, he let out a scream, "MOMMA!!!! NO MOMMA!"  What could I do.

I kissed his hands and told him that it would be alright.

"It's alright baby, be strong."
"Momma is here and papa is here, we are here with you and you are a strong boy."

Chocolate Chip Stitched Up Cookies

At home his sisters were baking cookies with stitches and decorating the house with get well balloons.


Our baby was fast asleep when we got home. We stayed up talking for a bit and when it was time for bed I didn't sleep a wink. I spent the night staring at his peaceful face. I spent every moment making sure he was breathing and making sure he was comfortable and that nothing came in contact with the thirty stitches that were holding together that painfully deep gash.  I went back and forth with, "What if I would have been there with him, I would have prevented this fall..."

Today, two months later, Max hardly even remembers the fall or the pain he felt. I've not been able to completely let it go, it's a work in progress.  Still I could be sitting a foot away from him and he is running and jumping and falling. I can't stop it, I can't change the course of his falling or soaring, I can only be here and there for him.

Every day I'm learning and growing in this role of motherhood. It's not easy by any means, many days it is quite challenging and every moment is amazing.  E V E R Y    S I N G L E    M O M E N T.

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Respectfully & Sincerely yours,


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