Monday, October 22, 2012

Letting Go...

I often say, "Let Go, Let Love." Today I have to heed my own advice.
As I sit here to share a few thoughts and emotions I am reminded of my post, First Draft.
I wrote First Draft a little over seven months ago. Reading it today makes me smile and doesn't make the feeling I have subside.

Tomorrow I will be dropping my son off at daycare, first time ever.

*Deep, Deep Breathe...

I've been prolonging this and have been talking about it to folks and meditating on it and it's still not getting any easier.

I was corresponding with a friend via email, her youngest is 22. I explained my woes and this was ultimately her response: "Letting go is very hard even when they are big, so don't think it gets easier.  Keep in touch."  
Not really what I wanted to hear and I appreciate the message.

I'm typing this on my laptop but instead of sitting at my desk I have brought my laptop down to the play area where he is creating some kind of arts and crafts magic. He's making me smile cause he is attempting to stick his hands together with school glue.  I use to do that up until I was 8 or so. I'd pour glue all over my hands, put them together and then try to peel the glue off. It was tons of fun. I introduced glue last week when we made our first tree. We had to cut out the leaves and glue them onto the bark of the tree.  Just because he is starting school doesn't mean we won't still work on arts and crafts together.

My son going off to daycare is the first step on the next part of his journey. It's not easy and it's imperative. I sat in my car and took a deep breathe or ten before walking into the school to submit all the required paperwork and make the deposit.  The school seems nice, and I believe he will flourish. It's exactly what he needs.  I'm looking for work so he will have to spend more time in the care of others. It's probably one of the most difficult things I've had to do in this adventure I call life.

I can't help the tears welling up in my eyes or the knot in my throat. I just sobbed a bit and he turned to me and said, "Mom, please don't get sick." What a blessing my little boy is. He is truly growing up right before my very eyes.

We have to go wash up his glue hands now.   Before I end I'd like to share a line from the very last email message in my inbox, a message of support: Congratulations on Max stepping onto the next piece of his journey!  You go Mom!  Breath deep!


Sharing is caring.

Respectfully & Sincerely yours,


  1. Letting go and parenting are never easy, regardless of age. Teenagers need their parents more than a toddler, it sounds funny, but if you look at the life of a teenager and that of a toddler ... a teenager, has had years of being "schooled" with fear, they are looking for hand to help guide down a unknown and scary path, whereas a toddler is usually without fear and is seeking more independence to venture into an unknown world, fear is not a companion at such a young age,so while the teenager is looking for a guiding hand, a toddler is looking for wings to soar. It doesn't get easier or harder, the challenges are different, each keeping you on your toes. Being a parent to a 22 year old or 40 year old child, doesn't become easier just different challenges. Good luck and enjoy the journey!!

    1. Thanks Damaris!I appreciate your sharing your experience.

      I agree. Not easy or hard just different.

      Love ya!

  2. I remember the first time I dropped Autumn off at school. By the time I got to the door to leave i realized that she had followed me and was looking at me with this wide eyed look like "is it time to go already"? Lucky for me before I could even say a word one of the nurturing ladies of the daycare just grabbed her and said go ahead daddy I'll take it from here. It's just as hard for dads to let go but it helps when you have supportive people around you that can make the transition easier. Good luck! I already know you're an excellent mom!

    1. Craig! Thank you so much. I totally agree. It hasn't gotten any easier for me but I'm getting there. :)
      Thank you for the response. I truly appreciate it.